Perception is Data, Not Truth

I’ve been thinking a lot about perception lately.

Not because perception doesn’t matter… it does. How other people experience us can affect our relationships, our careers, our opportunities, and even how we see ourselves. But I’ve learned that there’s an important distinction: Perception is data. It is not necessarily truth.

Consider the difference in the elements of the following scenario.

Someone doesn’t invite you to an important meeting. FACT — You weren’t invited.

You now think they don’t value your expertise. PERCEPTION — They don’t value me.

You start wondering whether you belong in this space. MEANING — Maybe I’m not as capable as I thought.

Are those last two elements true? Maybe. Maybe not.

Perhaps there was another reason you weren’t invited. Perhaps the person didn’t realize the meeting was relevant to you. Perhaps they made an assumption. Or perhaps there really is an issue that needs to be addressed.

The point is that we often move from what happened (FACT) to what we think it means (PERCEPTION & INTERPRETATION) without stopping to examine the space in between.

Psychologists refer to this as cognitive appraisal, the process through which we interpret events and determine what they mean for us. That interpretation can shape our emotions and our behaviors, sometimes before we’ve even had a chance to consider whether our interpretation is accurate.

So when something lands badly, ask yourself: What do I know? What am I assuming? What meaning am I giving this? What else could be true?

And then, maybe even more importantly: What do I want to do with the information I have?

Other people’s perceptions can offer valuable information. So can our own perceptions. But neither should automatically become our identity.

You can listen to the data without surrendering your own story.

That may be one of the most important forms of self-leadership we can practice.